K I C K I N G S C R E E N T I M E
OH yes, we are going to talk about it. Screen Time. It’s cringe-y, at least for me, because there is instantly mom guilt associated with it, amiright?
Did you know that the average family in the US has 7.3 screens in their home?? I won’t tell you how many we have because we are, ummm, well, above average. CRINGE! Gasp! The horror! Ha.
I know all the facts about how bad TV/screen time can be for kids, especially babies and toddlers. I’ve heard all the things it can do to their brain. I’ve read all the articles on why we shouldn’t give it to them…and I still do! And I really do believe that is ok. Everything in moderation. It was when the moderation part flew out the window and my kid was hooked on the TV and iPad that I knew we needed some change.
So before I get into HOW we kicked screen time binging, I want to say this. I am in no way judging, guilting, mom shaming, pointing fingers…you get the idea. We have screens in our home. We use them. We love them. When I was pregnant it was all I could do to turn on Disney and lay down before I was dry heaving and/or falling asleep. For MONTHS. So I get it. This is 2018 and technology is the way of the future.
When Wyatt was enjoying this much screen time, we were less than enjoying the side effects. We noticed the more screen time he had, the moodier he became (and he is a very HAPPY kid). Turning it off turned into World War 3, whining, crying. His attention span was extremely short. It took him forever to fall asleep and stay asleep at night. His creative language was pretty sparse. His creative play was even worse. It was time for change!
Here is how we took our son from morning TV everyday, iPad time, and for the most part TV every night down to JUST FRIDAY NIGHT movie night.
THE START
I understand that the start for us was a bit unique but I will give you ideas of other ways to start too! For us, we had a trip planned where we were going to a place where there were no TVs, no cell service and no Wifi. That made it pretty easy for Wyatt to detox. We discussed our plan for our return and committed to it. We decided that we would have movie night every Friday but other than that no screen time (gulp). We also decided that he could earn ipad/tv time by working on a chore chart or a chart targeting a certain behavior.
I realize that not everyone can just run away to a cabin for a few days when they want to kick TV so here are a few other ways to do it.
Cold Turkey – this is what I recommend. Even though it will be ROUGH to start, it will be the fastest and easiest in my opinion! Prep your child for a few days before so they know what to expect. Have a good behavior chart ready and let your child pick out a fun reward to work towards. That first week, have lots of outings planned or even just fun activities to keep them busy so they wont miss it. Make up a fun story about how all the TVs are being fixed by the tv fairies…what, there are fairies for everything right? LOL
Gradual Decrease- Another option is to gradually decrease the screen time. Turn off after one show in the morning instead of after 3 (or 4 or 5…I know how easy it is to let one more Daniel Tiger go). Gradually decrease until you are down to the amount that feels right to you. For us, it was one movie night a week. This way is harder for me personally, I like to just rip off the Band-Aid and get it over with! I can’t just east one Reese’s, I’ll take down the bag. So I just don’t eat them…often! We have tried this method though and it does work. I just found for Wyatt it was harder turning off after one show than not having it all.
THE MIDDLE
For us, it was rough for a while. I had recently been pregnant and had a baby so I was really using the TV. I was constantly nursing, changing and taking care of a baby so it was super easy to plop him down for a show…or 10. I could sleep in an extra (gulp) hour, yes an hour, if I turned on Sesame Street for him. I could sleep or nurse the baby while he played the iPad. These were all things he was used to because I was surviving! Surviving postpartum life, surviving a newborn and surviving long days when dad was at work. I’m still very much ok with it too. I did what I needed to do.
The downside was, he had to re-learn how to use this time in a different way. And it was hard. Lots of tears initially, whining, and just laying on the floor because his world was over. Then slowly, day-by-day, he stopped asking for it…
THE END
He started waking up and cuddling with me. He would wake up and read a book. He would go out and play with his toys. He would sit by the window and watch the birds. The best part of all, he would stop asking for the TV or the iPad. We had retrained his brain to stop needing it when he would enter into a state of boredom. In fact, it is so good for your kids to be bored! It teaches them to use their creativity!
SO, what did we see in him after 1 month of just a movie on Friday nights? I can’t even believe it. Even though he really is a genuinely good, sweet, joyful and obedient boy the screens brought out the worst in him! We saw his independent play improve leaps and bounds. His language flourished and he began telling long and detailed creative stories. His attention span expanded. His ability to sit and focus on a workbook improved. Whining was almost eliminated. He was just the happiest version of himself.
THE EXTRAS
Some ideas that we used to transition Wyatt, especially in the times when he needed some entertainement.
Surprise box – Go to the dollar store and make a little bin full of silly and fun toys. These can be super small. Bouncy ball, puzzle, bubbles, figurines…anything they can play safely on their own. If they happen to wake up earlier than you would prefer, instead of the TV send them to the surprise box and have them pick one toy. You can put them in envelopes so they can’t see everything. This will give you hopefully an extra 30 min without using screens!
Scavenger Hunt- If I was nursing or pumping, instead of handing Wyatt the iPad we did a scavenger hunt. I would have him go find me things that started with a certain letter or certain color. You can be super creative with your prompts. Find something from the movie Toy Story. Find something your sister loves. Bonus for Wyatt. Time them! Everything is more fun when it’s a race!
Bath Time – Bath time isn’t always just about cleaning up. Maybe this is just my kids, but they LOVE the bath! A few times a week it is the dreaded “wash hair” day for me, adding a good 30+ min to my getting ready routine. Typically I would put on a show for Wyatt. I started offering him a bath instead! He plays in the tub the entire time I get ready and is so entertained. Now that Colette is old enough, she joins the fun on this one too! Then they are both corralled and right in my sight!
So there it is. How we kicked screen time by about 95% in our house. We are still reaping the benefits. The house just seems calmer and quieter. We enjoy so much more sunshine. We see happy kids exploring their world. Also, using screen time as a motivator became much more effective when it was such a treat!
It wasn’t easy. Yes, it does make it more work for mom. YES, we slip up every now and then. We go through seasons of crazy, illness or exhaustion where we wave the white flag and “pretend its Friday” as Wyatt would say and have a double header movie night! The most important part of those times is not beating myself up for it. Give yourself a little grace and know that some seasons call for a little extra help. And that’s OK.
I hope that this encourages you that you CAN do it! I’m with you and cheering you on! If you do try this, come back and tell me how it went! Tell me what difference you saw in your littles!
Love to you all
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