What they don’t tell Moms of Kindergartners
This is a big one, Mama. While kindergarten is cutesy and fun and seems like a tiny step into their future, I’m here to tell you, it’s a big one. Dropping off your first baby, the tiny human you make from scratch and poured your soul into for the past five years. Leaving them with this adorable, bubbly, sweet teacher who you’ve met for a total of 45 seconds in your whole life.
It’s big. In fact, I feel like no one tells Moms how big it can feel.
* I have verified with other mom friends that yes, it does indeed feel big*
No one told me how big this would feel.
I mean, you might as well be dropping them at college! It’s like a scene in the movies when there is a montage of years past just flying by the screen one after the other. It’s walking out of the hospital with this tiny baby, it’s rocking in the dark quiet nursery all throughout the night, its first baby steps and first words, its terrible twos and fabulous fours. It’s that tiny hand reaching for yours all throughout the day. Then you are walking up to this building, handing them over to their teacher and walking away.
No one told you your heart would burst of joy and break of grief all at the same time.
Picture me filming his first roll call like the Mom from Mean Girls, waving like an idiot when I walked out with the biggest smile on my face, then I’m over here sobbing in my car with oversized sunglasses and some unnecessarily sugary coffee drink to ease my sorrow. Don’t think for a second I wasn’t in a row of cars with other moms doing the same thing. They don’t tell you that you will simultaneously be overcome with joy while watching your baby be so brave and so ready to be in school and also be so heartbroken over the years that have come to a close.
No one told me how resilient my kid would be.
Kids don’t make friends like adults do. In fact, I’m insanely jealous over my son’s ability to whip up a friend in any space he enters. While I’m over here worrying about everything under the sun, he has walked up to four kids and asked them to be his friend. One said no, so he moved on to the next. These little guppies are so resilient. Take your cues from them. No one told me that my worries might not be his worries! While I was so worried he wouldn’t click with any friend right away, he was telling me he was most excited about making friends at school! Kids are sometimes so much more resilient than adults are!
No one told me how on this day, their first day of kindergarten, my life was about to change in a big way.
It all came rushing at me like a freight train at 1am the night after his first day. This was the end of long lazy days doing whatever we wanted and having nowhere to be. This was the end of sweet play dates where we ruled the city while the rest of the kids were in school. Our days are now picking up and dropping off and paperwork and schedules. It is the first day of the rest of his school career, the next 13+ years of his life. Let’s just acknowledge the magnitude of that. That change, albeit necessary and unavoidable, is hard and not without some grieving of what has passed and will no longer be.
There is so much more to it than those cute photos with bright-eyed kids holding up their first day signs. Behind that camera is a mom who poured her soul into preparing them for this day. Who researched schools, toured campuses and lost some sleep over making the best decision for them. Who consulted with their moms and reached out to other moms. Or maybe the school was an easy choice but saying goodbye is hard. Maybe the mom behind that camera is having to walk away from a crying child as their new teacher comforts them. Behind that camera is a mom who is excited to finally have some peace and quiet but gets to the peace and quiet and misses the noise.
In some way, its big for every last one of them.
And it all comes down to this, sweet mamas.
This is a BIG deal even if no one talks about how big it actually feels.
YOU did great job.
They are so ready.
And you will be ok.
As we were walking to the car after Wyatt’s first day, hand in hand, he looked up at me and said, “Mama, you did a great job picking my school. I love it”.
And with that, I will be ok too.
Happy first day of school to all you kindergartners.. and to their happy/sad/anxious/excited/joy-filled mamas.
